


Hold me, and never let me go please

by MerlinSpecter



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 18:48:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14026473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerlinSpecter/pseuds/MerlinSpecter
Summary: "Kimi almost flinches when Sebastian speaks. He doesn’t want to think about possibly leaving. Not that he would necessarily hate retiring, he understand it will be his time to go eventually, it’s just the part were he would have to leave Sebastian behind that keeps on bothering him."Or, the one where Sebastian is anxious about Kimi leaving Ferrari, and Kimi decides he could never leave Seb behind.





	Hold me, and never let me go please

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song 'Hold Me' by Daniel Docherty. I'm going to his concert in a few days and was inspired by his music to write this fic. :)  
> Requests always welcome!  
> Cheers!

“Would you tell me?” Sebastian asks, making Kimi frown, shifting from where he was sitting on the couch so he could look at his teammate. Sebastian’s face is slightly pale and he is refusing to look Kimi in the eye.

“Tell you what?” Kimi answers gruffly. Seb only briefly looks at Kimi before turning away again, swallowing thickly. 

“If you leave, would you tell me this time around?” Sebastian finally blurts out, the question rushed. Kimi winces at the blunt words, he understood Seb isn’t trying to be accusing, even though the German had all the right to. Kimi sighs.

“Seb, it was wrong of me to keep it from you for such a long time, but I was afraid.,I know that now. So, yes, I would tell you.” Sebastian seems halfway satisfied with the answer and Kimi hopes he is going to leave the subject for what it is. The German, of course, doesn’t.

“It’s gonna be weird if you go.” Seb never really had a filter around Kimi, but today it seems like he’s blurting out everything that comes to mind. Kimi almost flinches when Sebastian speaks. He doesn’t want to think about possibly leaving. Not that he would necessarily hate retiring, he understand it will be his time to go eventually, it’s just the part were he would have to leave Sebastian behind that keeps on bothering him. 

“Yeah.” He finally answers, not sure what more Seb wants him to say. Sebastian fidgets with a lose treat on his sleeve. Kimi debates bringing his attention back to the papers on his lap, but by the way Seb is still chewing on his bottom lip, Kimi know more blurted out words will soon follow.

“Will you still come to visit the team at the races?” Kimi only shrugs in answer. Sebastian quiets again, but continues to worry his bottom lip between his teeth. 

“I wonder who they would put in your place…. God, I hope it’s not Kvyat. It would probably be Daniel, don’t you think? Although, I don’t know how well that will go… I like him, but I don’t have a lot of good memories about being his teammate.” Seb shudders for a moment before continuing. “Maybe they take one of the old guys back, Alonso, maybe, or one of the newer guys… But it’s not gonna be the same as now, is it? Because you would be leaving and…”

“I’m not leaving yet, Seb.” Kimi interrupts Seb as the German starts to stumble over the words, his breathing shuddering. Kimi hesitates, but then puts a hand on Seb’s shoulder when he still wouldn’t look at him. 

Seb finally looks at him and then nods.

“Yeah, of course, sorry.” His voice is hoarse.

They both stay quiet again, until Sebastian’s teeth find his bottom lip yet again and Kimi sighs, almost in annoyance but not quite.

“Just say it Seb.” 

“Stay? J-just like 3 or 4 more season, then we can retire together… I don’t, I can’t… Kimi…” Seb’s voice is breaking and Kimi closes his eyes. 

“I’m not saying I’m leaving already, Seb, but I will leave sooner than you.” He says quietly. Sebastian huffs and seems to want to object, but Kimi stops him. “You still have a good part of your career in front of you, you’re still young enough to make this all work for years to come… I just, I’ll have to leave eventually.” He wants Seb to understand, but judging from the stubborn frown on his face, it’s not gonna be easy.

“Sebby…” Kimi says quietly, reaching out to touch Sebastian’s hand. The word alone is enough to make the frown lines soften away, but Seb’s blue eyes are still wide and sad. Kimi leaves his hand on top of Sebastian’s, hoping it would in some strange way help Seb understand what Kimi couldn’t tell him with words alone. 

“Will I still see you around?” Sebastian asks again. Kimi smiles gently. 

“Of course. Just because we aren’t teammates anymore doesn’t mean I still have to beat you at badminton every so often.” Sebastian huffs again.

“It’s only because you always cheat.” The German tells Kimi accusingly. Kimi only rolls his eyes in return. Both settle for comfortable silence.

Kimi looks down at the papers still resting on his legs. He pretends to look through the numbers, but in all honesty he’s still trying to think of a way to tell Seb. 

Then Sebastian’s hand turns around under his and Kimi’s breathing noticeably hitches when Seb intertwines their fingers together. Kimi doesn’t move, allowing Seb to hold on to his hand. 

Then he hears soft sobs and turns sharply towards his teammate. Sebastian was turned away slightly from him, his free hand pressed against his mouth to stifle the choked sobs. 

“Sebby…” Kimi repeats, not hesitating anymore to pull Sebastian into his arms. Sebastian immediately buries his face in the crook of Kimi’s neck, his tears leaving marks on Kimi’s shirt. 

“Oh Seb…” Kimi soothes, holding the other man tightly to his chest. 

“I will leave F1, but I’ll never leave you.” In any other situation, he would have hated how cliché he sounded, but he knew Seb needed to hear those words. Sebastian’s crying only worsened and Kimi wondered if he had said something completely different than what he had meant to. 

He carefully pushed Sebastian away, just enough to look him in the eye. Kimi tried to wipe the tears from Seb’s face, but fresh ones kept coming. 

Kimi was thinking desperately of something to say, something that would calm the German, when Sebastian suddenly surged forward and pressed their lips together. Kimi was surprised but kissed back softly. Seb tasted salty with tears but it all didn’t matter, his lips were soft and all Kimi had hoped for. 

Kimi realised Seb was speaking soft German words against his lips, but he couldn’t follow what was going on. He pulled back only slightly, one hand still cradling Seb’s cheek. Sebastian switched back to English almost immediately, but his accent was a lot thicker than before. 

“No matter if you stay… I-I love you…” Sebastian told him breathlessly. Kimi smiled, his fingers tentatively brushing over Seb’s cheekbone.

“I love you too.”


End file.
